Update: Wednesday: I woke up this morning with plenty of time to get ready for work yet the time got away from me so I ended up running out the door, I forgot to look in on Joey! Thankfully Joe is home and he will peek in!
My morning ritual before I leave for work is to peek into Joey’s room to see if he is breathing. Yes he is, so I try to determine if it’s a normal breathing pattern or is it to slow or to fast! It’s not one of my favorite things to do!
It’s not fun, but it’s our reality because Joey has type 1 diabetes. And no matter how hard we try to help him manage his blood sugar it’s impossible due to so many factors like hormones, what he ate the night before, how much basal we have factored into his pump.
It’s been almost a year since my surgery so it was time to return to work. I was ready physically and really needed to be with people again, however the hovering diabetes mom in me was scared to death to go back. I don’t have a job that I can freely get up and use my phone to call and check in so I basically do that on my breaks and lunch. Joey likes to sleep in yet I want to have him check his blood sugar before I leave for work. This was our conversation yesterday: Joey: “please don’t wake me up before you leave, I want to sleep in! I’ll text you as soon as I get up and check I promise.” Me: “well that scares me because you always forget to text me and then I’m at work worried!” So as I was driving to work I get this text:
You can imagine how I felt, I was kicking myself for not waking him. Thankfully he woke up and was able to get a fast-acting sugar! You can tell in his text that he’s also frustrated because he doesn’t like to wake up knowing that he’s low, it’s a terrible feeling. He also knows what can happen if he doesn’t wake up. Sounds grim, and it is!
This is why I worry so much at work! This can happen at any time throughout the day. If his number drops low fast he could get disoriented and not be able to get to a fast-acting sugar. I text him at every break, when he doesn’t get back to me I start to worry.
All I can conclude is that I will never stop worrying, I just have to figure out how to worry without suffocating my child., or drive myself crazy! 😩