Ya know when I was prepping for surgery I was thinking of who would take care of Joey, meaning checking his blood sugar at 2:00 am, getting him to weight training, etc. Who will do the grocery shopping and clean the house.
I was also scared to death of the after surgery pain! I have had many surgeries, as I was blessed with my grandmother’s medical profile, arthritis, spine issues, and other stuff. However, she would still be alive today if not for a botched surgery, in her 90’s! I woke up from one of the surgeries and had sort of an out of body experience. I heard a woman moaning and I thought to myself “why aren’t the nurses helping that person she sounds like she’s in so much pain.” Right after that a nurse came over to me and said “are you feeling OK honey because you sure are moaning a lot.” It was me that was moaning and didn’t even know it. I was obviously in a lot of pain.
Turned out that my doctor was 100% accurate when he said “this isn’t a painful surgery!” Of course the NO BENDING, TWISTING and LIFTING rules suck, and is almost impossible to follow, I am not in a lot of body pain! In the hospital Tony made me laugh and it hurt, so he wrote on the nurses chalk board “do not make laugh, causes pain!”
The thing that I never gave a thought to, related to this surgery, was my psyche. The Soul, Mind & Spirit. Wow, I should have given it some thought! It’s a roller coaster ride of emotions! I can literally cry on command! I’m crying now writing this! And now I’m fine ~ wondering if Joeys up yet so he can make me a cup of coffee! ☺️
This is the part of surgery that no one prepares you for! No one told me that I would be overjoyed the first week, every card and beautiful flowers sent, the visitors, the meals and calls-they all brought so much joy! In the same moment I was struggling with feeling lonely! Depression is not new to me, as some family members suffer from it, and I’ve always been compassionate to those who suffer from it, I just never knew the feelings associated with it. I’m not saying that I have depression, but I am experiencing balancing my emotions. I’m praying that as my body gets stronger, so will my psyche!
My husband was with me 24/7 for 18 days. He is the worlds best husband ~ and caregiver! I am not exaggerating at all about him. An example: he knows that I love Hummingbirds, so he hung a feeder right outside my window so I can watch them all day long as I am recuperating in the hospital bed ~ that’s in my living room. He knew my soul was struggling, so he put up this little hummingbird feeder to feed my soul. And every time Charlotte or George comes to feed, I smile, and my spirit feels better!.
I am blessed. We have meals delivered twice a week from our church Holy Apostles’ ministry. I also received a beautiful Prayer Shawl from a different ministry at Holy Apostles. I have many friends who have stopped by to check on me, take Joey to lunch, football, and wherever else he needs to be. That is precious to me, thank you Jenna!! It definitely helps my spirit!
My friend Maggie went grocery shopping for us and always asks us what/if we need anything. You get the picture that we have all of the support that we could ever need or ask for! So why do I struggle with these feelings of loneliness? Why didn’t my doctor tell me about all of these crazy emotions? I guess they feel that with the Internet available I should have Googled it! 😊
Joe went back to work. It’s been exactly 21 days since my surgery. I will drive today for the first time, maybe getting out and feeling some independence will help my soul! My mind is feeling clear, as I’m off the harder pain medication. So now I’m gonna work on my spirit. Prayer helps, so I would certainly love your prayers, for my Soul, Mind, and Spirit.
Love to all, and God Bless! ❤️